Ruth Weldon Bickett, our beloved mother, grandmother and friend, passed away peacefully in her sleep at the age of 72 on January 30.
Ruth was born in Warren County, NC, to the late Claude Thomas Weldon and Elsie Boyd Reams, both local bankers. She loved her hometown but always felt she never quite fit in there, so she left to see the world as soon as she was able. In doing so, she rebelled against expectations--and never stopped rebelling. She was swept up in the hippie movement, traveled the country, and eventually settled in Raleigh. She became a true creative, finding her calling as a costumer at Raleigh Creative Costumes under her mentor, Douglas Haas Bennett. She learned dance and theatre, and produced paintings throughout her life. She eventually married, had two beloved sons and divorced.
Ruth was a complex woman. She could be hilarious, with a quirky sense of humor that charmed and sometimes bemused those who got to know her. She was kind and giving, irreverent and rebellious. She believed fiercely in social justice and loathed those who sought to accumulate power at the expense of the weak. She loved cold months, dark humor and Halloween, always making her children’s costumes from scratch. She shunned the saccharine and overly-proper. She was weird—and proudly so.
Those who entered her home would first see classy fine china displayed atop antique furniture, an elegant vintage oriental rug covering the floor, classic books carefully arranged in wooden display shelves. They would sit and chat with her a while. Then they would turn around to leave, where they would be faced with the grand finale…an elaborate wainscoted wall with, at its center, a niche holding an utterly ghoulish antique baby doll, wearing a vintage fedora. She never tired of relishing the double takes when her guests finally saw it.
She faced many challenges, struggling all her life with the physical and mental ailments that often come hand-in-hand with such a creative and unique mind. She had been sick for many years, and stayed with us much longer than any of us thought she would. But she wanted to stay long enough to watch her two sons, Thomas and Sam, who she adored, build and settle into their lives and careers. She wanted to be here to see her much-doted-on 8-year-old grandson, Cillian, grow into his personality (including countless hours of video bonding sessions during the pandemic) and ensure she would leave a little of herself behind in him.
But perhaps most of all, she wanted to hold on long enough to make sure she could go on her own terms. Her life’s road was a rocky one, but when she finally left us, she could do so knowing we were all happy and grateful for her place in our lives. In her last weeks, she got to spend a nice holiday with her sons, daughter-in-law, and grandson. She shared little joys, moments and memories with all of us. And when that was over, she knew it was time to go.
Due to her illnesses, she hadn’t painted in a number of years. But when we arrived at her home after her passing, we found on her easel a single, beautiful new watercolor work. Some of us saw in the abstract work a close up of a woman, eyes closed, resting peacefully. Others saw a bird taking flight. But we all agreed: Ruth was telling us goodbye, go in peace, and don’t worry—everything is fine.
A reception followed by a celebration of Ruth’s life will be held at West Raleigh Presbyterian Church on Sunday, February 18, at 12:30pm. In honor of Ruth’s passion for costuming, her irreverence and her sense of humor, we invite you (if you’d like) to wear your favorite vintage suit/dress, Halloween costume, or just plain ridiculous outfit. Otherwise, please come as you are.
Ruth is survived by her two sons, Thomas Bickett (Sarah) and Sam Bickett, both of the Washington, DC area, one grandson, Cillian Bickett, and many extended family members and friends. In lieu of flowers, please go vote—for progress, for the rights of women and the powerless, for equality, for democracy, and for hope.
For additional information or for service details, please reach out to the family directly.
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