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City of Oaks Funeral Home & Cremations

Obituary
Mary DeMilia

Cary, North Carolina

Age 51.
Died 2/14/2023.

Mary DeMilia of Raleigh, NC, passed away peacefully on Tuesday, February 14, 2023, at Templeton of Cary NC. She was born on July 7, 1971, in Belleville, New Jersey, the daughter of John Ryan and Vivian (Steransky) Ryan and is survived by her parents, her children Ryan DeMilia and Michelle DeMilia, and many extended family members who love her. Mary spent her earliest years in Hoboken, NJ, moving to Nutley, NJ at a young age where she grew up just a few blocks from her grandparents, Timothy J. (Jr.) and Eleanore Ryan. Mary was an adored granddaughter and the apple of their eye! She graduated from Nutley High School in 1989, where she was a core member of the Nutley High School swim team. She received her Bachelor’s degree in Biology at Lehigh University in 1993, competing on the Lehigh swim team as well. She spent nearly two decades living and working in and around Raleigh, where in 2019, she completed coursework in cybersecurity, cyber and computer forensics and counterterrorism at Wake Technical Community College and began her new career as a Marketing and Database Analyst. Competitive swimming remained an important part of Mary’s life, and she combined this talent with her commitment to volunteerism; one of her proudest achievements was to help raise over $125,000 towards cancer research as an Event Director for Swim Across America in 2011. Mary’s volunteer efforts were widespread and varied, including as Coach & Fundraising Lead for the Science Olympiad, a “shavee” for the St. Baldrick’s Foundation, and a two-time cyclist for Le Tour de Femme in Cary, NC to benefit the Livestrong Foundation and the Angel Fund of Rex Hospital. Passionate about athletics, she enjoyed cycling, hiking, snorkeling, and water polo. Above all, Mary was a dedicated mother and fierce friend, with a strong yet gentle spirit and a laugh that rang out with pure joy. She lived her life with courage and kindness, and her children were always foremost in her heart and mind. Mary was and will always be greatly loved, and she will be deeply missed by her many friends and family.

For additional information or for service details, please reach out to the family directly.


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City of Oaks Cremation and Funeral Home is a full-service funeral home in Raleigh, serving all of North Carolina and beyond. We provide an alternative to costly funeral homes and every day we help families in Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill and all over North Carolina make simple, affordable funeral arrangements.

Simply having to reach out to a funeral home can feel overwhelming. Our goal is to simplify the entire funeral home experience and make the process as easy as possible. We hope to eliminate any unnecessary surprises by publishing our total cost and the services we provide directly on our website. All of our obituaries are provided free of charge as a way to help families celebrate and commemorate the lives of their loved ones.

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Apples to Apples

Just like all other licensed funeral homes in North Carolina, City of Oaks Cremation, LLC is regulated by the NC Board of Funeral Service.


The same laws that apply to the big corporate funeral homes also apply to the modest independently owned firms like ours. All crematories in North Carolina, regardless of who owns them, are inspected annually by the state and must adhere to the same rules and laws.

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Genuine Care

We're committed to providing families within our community unsurpassed service before, during and after the time of loss.


Our staff will provide clear communication to your family through each step as we move forward from the original phone call notifying us of a death to the time we deliver the urn back to your family. We will treat your family with the utmost respect, as we honor the wishes of your loved one.


We promise to make this process affordable and as endurable as possible.

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State Wide

Our Funeral Home is located in Wake County NC; however, we provide our services to families throughout the entire State.


Unlike other funeral homes, we don't charge an additional mileage fee. Regardless of what county you live in, we can help your family with making simple, affordable funeral arrangements. From Asheville to Wilmington, we're proud to help families statewide.