Obituary
Christopher Beichner

Christopher A. Beichner, 57, of Pittsboro, North Carolina, formerly of Roanoke Rapids, North Carolina and Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, died on Monday, August 7th, 2023 of heart failure. Chris was born in Worcester, Massachusetts in 1966 and spent most of his childhood growing up in the North Hills neighborhood of Pittsburgh. He graduated from York Suburban High School in 1984 and attended Penn State University and, later, California University of Pennsylvania. Born significantly premature, Chris was predicted never to walk as a child, but surpassed all odds to become a baseball-playing, bike-riding, ping pong champion of the local swim club by his teens. As a young man, Chris - inevitably known as “Beek” - began his career working for grocery food distributors based out of Pittsburgh, and loved going to baseball games, bars, and concerts in downtown Pittsburgh with his brothers and friends. In his mid-30s, he decided to go back to college and train to become a high school Social Studies teacher, a career that would take him to North Carolina. During his 20 years in education, Chris taught at Northampton County High School - West, Roanoke Rapids High School, and Carrboro High School. He cultivated a gruff classroom persona, and was particularly known for declaring, in response to students plaintively asking if they would ever get a free day to “just have fun,” that there was (quote): “No fun in Civics!” Despite, or more likely because of, his sarcastic ways, he had a gift for connecting with students of all levels and backgrounds and was much-loved for his dry sense of humor, his encouragement of students to develop their own opinions and voices, his passion for history, and his penchant for tossing mints to students with correct answers. In addition to teaching, Chris also loved coaching baseball for the Northampton West Hurricanes - taking that team to the playoffs in 2007 for the first time in local memory - and the Roanoke Rapids Yellow Jackets, until he physically could not any more. Even after moving to North Carolina, Chris remained an avid Pittsburgh Pirates fan (a true sign of his capacity for faith, even in the darkest times) and followed Penn State football religiously, if occasionally angrily. In North Carolina, he met his wife, Anne, a fellow Social Studies teacher, and won her over with his humor, kindness, intelligence and willingness to go on history-themed vacations. They were together for 19 years total and had just celebrated their 14th wedding anniversary a few days before Chris’s death. He was a loving and supportive partner and husband. Chris was preceded in death by his parents, William Max and Ellen Marie Beichner. Surviving him are his wife, Anne; his brothers, including Bill (and wife Kelly); his nieces and nephews Chelsea (and husband Joseph) Matarazzo, Nicole Beichner, and Max Beichner; numerous aunts, uncles and cousins, including his cousin and best friend Mike Roseman (and wife Christina); and in-laws, Tom, Betty, and Mike Waznis. In a lighthearted conversation a few months before he died, Chris insisted that his wife include the following in his obituary: First, potential titles for his (inevitable) biography, which included Bright, But Not Quite Shining: The Chris Beichner Story (from a college professor’s comment on one of his papers) and Surprisingly Better Than Average: The Chris Beichner Story (from his high school guidance counselor, in response to his SAT scores). And second - so destined to offend that we almost left it out of this obituary - that in a world where three-time Cy Young Award winner Chris Beichner regularly strode to the plate for a Major League Baseball team, his walk-up music would be the guitar riff from “Your Own Personal Jesus,” with fans encouraged to sing “Your own. Per-so-nal. Beich-ner.” In Chris’s honor, the family will be attending a Pirates baseball game next Spring. If you are interested in attending or would like to share a memory of Chris, please reach out to cbeichnermemorial@gmail.com. In lieu of flowers, donations can be made to Pirates Charities, online, or at 115 Federal Street, Pittsburgh, PA 15212.